I was lay­ing in bed last night think­ing about this post and won­der­ing if I could get through it with­out short­ing out my key­board with tears. You see, writ­ing about my kids, well, that’s a part of my soul. I am so look­ing for­ward to telling you about each of them as their birthd­days come and go.
Today, it is you my beau­ti­ful, funny, intel­li­gent youngest daugh­ter. You came into our lives planned. Karah and Sherm brought us so much joy that we couldn’t wait to have yet another. From the moment we brought you home, you have been much loved. Brother and sis­ter adored you and played with you until you cried. Then they didn’t like you so much. You used to lay in your crib and lift your arms up and con­tent your­self watch­ing those hands cir­cle round and round. I still don’t know why you did that except to believe it meant you would do one day do some­thing truly cre­ative with your hands. And you did and have and con­tinue to so.
Being we were more relaxed with a third child, I think Chels was more relaxed. Her given name was picked from a show we watched although it was in the run­ning with Rean­nine. I know. She is def­i­nitely a Chels. But for all you who want to know, her nick­name grow­ing up was “Moochie”. Sorry Chels. It is just too cute.
You were and are a joy. From the time you heard a toy pop­per and deemed it the sound of a thou­sand chick­ens clucking(how could you know that?)you have been a lover of sounds, words, ani­mals and peo­ple. You had uni­corns danc­ing around your rooms and more stuffed ani­mals than one should rea­son­ably have. You were an avid reader and had an imag­i­na­tion to match. You were always smart, but I don’t think you thought you were. School was hard. High school more so. It was you who took it upon your­self to get into an alter­na­tive progam when I didn’t hear your cries for help. It was you who said “This is who I am” and pro­ceeded to dress as you liked, color your hair as you looked, tatoo as you liked and pirced a lot of you, as you liked. You have been and I think always will be, truly your own per­son.
You have an affin­ity for peo­ple most of us can only wish for. You see and hear when the rest of us don’t and it mat­ters to you. And when things mat­ter, you do some­thing. Stray dogs or stray peo­ple. You always care.
You return that love ten­fold to your fam­ily. You love uncon­di­tion­ally. Some­times the con­nec­tion between you and Karah is beyond under­stand­ing. Two souls truly con­nected. Although you have always loved your brother, it hasn’t always been easy. But the two of you have found your way back to each other and it is really, really good. I know you suf­fered when your dad and I divorced, and as usual you tried to make it all bet­ter. Yet you and Karah and Sherm knew it was not about you. Thank-you for under­stand­ing that at such a young age.
You have your dads love of the arts and the tal­ent to go with it. You see things in our every­day world and make them art. You open my mind to pos­si­bilites. I have no doubt you will go on to be a “great painter” because you see to the inside of a per­son or thing and you bring that to your can­vas.
You love your hus­band so much, yet you are like me in that we strug­gle to not con­trol every­thing. You don’t just say” that is the way it is” and not try to change. I see you work­ing on your­self all the time, to fix the only thing you can…you. When I put together the col­lage of wed­ding pic­tures for you and Matt, I cried every day. I could not believe you were old enough to be get­ting mar­ried. Mostly I could not believe so much time had passed and look­ing back, the mem­o­ries were awe­some and bit­ter­sweet. When you had to set your own plans aside as the grief of Douglas’s death shook your world, you did it with grace and dig­nity and cen­tered your world around the per­son who you knew needed you the most…Karah.
Some­times I think you do not think you are beau­ti­ful, but you are. You truly are. (Damn, I was doing so well not cry­ing!!)
I feel so blessed with my kids. I was never scared to be a mom. I wel­comed it. I didn’t know how to do it, but I knew, beyond a doubt, that if I could just tell them how much they are loved, val­ued and wanted, than the rest would work itself out. And it did. Chels, you have tried my soul on many occa­sions. We have fought, been angry with each other, mis­un­der­stood each other and had times we were dis­tant. And you were the hard­est damn per­son to get up in the morn­ing I have EVER known. But you were never far. And I was never far. And, more impor­tantly, you were never ever gone from my soul and never will be.
  I believe peo­ple whose lives touch yours are blessed. I believe the world is a bet­ter place because you exist. I don’t know where your life is going to take you, but I know you will be okay. I do know it has been hard, and a strug­gle a lot of the time. Yet you always perser­vere. It is your great­est strength. So my beau­ti­ful daughter…thank you for the joy you bring to my life each and every day. Happy happy birth day! I am ever so grate­ful you were born.  zpzpzpzpzp Mom